Eleven Years

Today marks the 11th anniversary of Augie's death.

A random vehicular accident on a perilous highway claimed his life. But for those of us who loved him, it was not random. Because it happened to Augie!

I clearly remember the exact moment I heard the dreadful news. I had just returned to the hospital after my marketing chores were done for the day. It was around 10 o'clock in the morning on a sunny and hot Friday morning. The receptionist at the desk just buzzed me at my office in the dietary department. The hospital did not have such a high tech telephone system as a PABX that time so when a call came in, the receptionist would push a button at her station and buzz the office for the person to come out to the lobby and take the call. When I approached her, the receptionist told me that the person calling had been calling five times already so she told me it must be very urgent. I had a strange sense of foreboding. My first thought strayed to my Mama who just had gallbladder surgery the year before. It was my sister, Fara. The first thing she asked me was if I was seating down. I knew then the news would be devastating. I told her no but that didn't matter. There were no chairs near the information desk as the counter is chest-level. I braced for the news. Then she said, very quietly, "Augie died."

At that exact moment, the shock just leaves one speechless. She asked if I were still there. I told her yes but my mind was elsewhere. She started on the details of how he died. At that point, the only thing coursing thru my mind was how I was going to get back to Bacolod when it was the peak season for traveling to the provinces.

Augie's family had decided to bury him on the Wednesday before Holy Thursday that year. After I hang up, I immediately started calling the PAL hotline. All flights were fully booked. Frantic, but nevertheless, calm enough to offer a prayer for Augie, I sought the sanctuary of our chapel. I asked help from him to get me a seat on a plane in time for his funeral. On the way to my office, I passed by the statue of St. Therese of the Child Jesus. I briefly touched her feet and asked for a small favor. With a heavy heart, I continued with my daily tasks. In the medical setting, one has to remain professional inspite of the personal blows you have to face.

That night, I called Greg. He, too, heard the news. We made plans to call the airlines separately to find seats. I stuck with PAL. Finally, I got thru to someone who told me two seats were available on an early morning flight on Tuesday, the day before the funeral. I reserved the seats. Then I called Greg. He told me he also reserved seats with a different airline. Someone was definitely helping us out! What are the odds of getting seats this late in one of the busiest seasons in the travel industry?

Augie's family had requested Totong, who is Augie's bestfriend, to give the eulogy at his funeral. Totong declined as he felt he was not strong enough to give a speech for his friend and not break down in front of so many people. So the honor fell to Greg, who was Augie's friend since their grade school days. His eulogy was punctuated with pauses but he shared many colorful memories of Augie.

For many of us, Augie was an inspiration, the prod who encourages us to do noble things. Because of him, several young men and women were able to finish high school by giving out scholarships thru the company he worked for. Something that only came out after his death.

Augie was the one who gave us the idea to help a student from our Alma Mater, St. Joe's, finish high school. This was during our college years. Thus, projects like "Annie B--------l", the video madness show, Christmas Carolling, Mad Max film showings came about. These projects generated enough funds for us to give a high school scholarship to a couple of St. Joe's students. After college, while the rest of us pursued careers, Augie continued with his mission of providing scholarships to deserving kids and he did this with the help of Coca-Cola.

It's so ironic that one of the things that Augie liked so much, cars, would be the cause of his demise. I remember walking with him from school for lunch at our respective homes and back again, he would identify each car that would pass us by. He liked golf, too. He was a music lover as well. One time in third year high school, before our afternoon classes started, a new Air Supply song was playing on the radio at the office of the elementary school beside the building. He could hear the song from his spot by the window. He called me over to his desk and asked me to listen to the song and write down the lyrics. He knew that collecting song lyrics was my obsession at that time. I even had this large notebook with all the lyrics of the popular songs of the day. I wonder where that notebook is now.... oh well. Anyway the song goes:

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I 'm all out of love,
I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

The song title is "I'm All Out of Love".

Another song that strongly reminds me of him is the song we listened to the very last time I spent time with him. It was Totong's wedding night. Augie wanted to play a practical joke on him. He drove me, Bitoy, and Tindoy to the hotel where Totong and Cutie were supposed to spend their wedding night. We rang the doorbell of the hotel room. To our dismay, Totong and Cutie were not at the hotel room. They were still celebrating with their family at home. When we realized that the plan had backfired, we giggled all the way down to the hotel lobby. We decided to have dinner out. Then, Augie drove us home. It was already 1 o'clock in the morning. He took me home first but just when I was about to get out of the car, a song played on the car radio, and he asked me to get back in. He drove around the subdivision as we listened to the song.

It's three in the morning
You're nowhere in sight
And all that I wanted was
To be with you tonight
I've watched love get closer
And then fade away
I've seen you believe in me
I've seen you trying to stay
But what good is holding on
When you know that all
You can think about is letting go
They say if you love someone
Then set them free
If they come back again
Then in the end it was meant to be
I thought we were lovers
I thought we were friends
I guess when reality steps in
The dreaming ends

We live for the future
We learn from the past
No matter how hard we try
Some good things never last
All you can think about is letting go
Be true to yourself, my love
That's all I ever wanted you to be
Just don't forget to smile
When you think of me
I reach for the stars
I have got them in sight
There's someone who really needs me
Out there in the night
We'll live for the future
We'll learn from the past
No matter how hard we try
Some good things never last
Why can't they last?

The song is Barbra Streisand's "Some Good Things Never Last". In his case, they never did.

Augie was fond of practical jokes. A few days after his funeral, our high school classmates met at Johanna's house. They all remembered the pledge that Augie suggested we make to each other:
If one of us dies ahead of the others, he or she will come back and tickle the others' feet while they slept. Everybody just freaked out, not knowing if Augie would do this to us.

The guys were drinking beer and they set out one bottle for him. A tribute to his beer-drinking, of course.

Years later, Tito Art, Augie's daddy, shared with me a spiritual experience he encountered three days after Augie died. He was so overcome with exhaustion that he fell asleep. While in the twilight of sleep and wakefulness, he saw Augie approaching him with his trademark grin. Augie just stood there in front of him for a few moments then he quietly turned away. And, Tito Art swears, Augie was accompanied by some beings who gave Tito Art the impression of seeing angels. He woke up with a start and knew his beloved son was in the hands of God.

Many years later, while Tita Betty, Augie's Mommy and I were reminiscing about him, I asked her why they commemorate his death anniversary more than they celebrated his birthday. I told her, Jackie Kennedy always put more emphasis on the birthday of the late President John F. Kennedy, rather than the day he died, as she said she wants to play up the positive aspects of his life more than his death. It was a measure of the depth of Tita Betty's faith and spirituality when she turned to me and said, " Augie was born to eternal life on the day he died! So we celebrate his birth to eternal life on this day!" It was one of the most profound messages I ever received in my life. Which reminded me of this prayer, which we prayed at St. Joe's:

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

So today, we celebrate 11 years since Augie's birth to Eternal Life. Godspeed, friend!